He Loves Me Yeah Yeah Yeah

The day after Thanksgiving, Warren and I took the boys to meet an old friend of his (and faithful blog reader of mine). We had a lovely time chatting while Satchel pulled out every toy in sight and Jiro tinkered with every electrical device in sight. On the way back to Warren's brother's house both boys fell fast asleep in the car. After successfully transfering them from car to bed without either waking, I snuck out of the house alone.

After 6 days of non-stop family time I needed a rest. I did a few laps around Neal's neighborhood while talking on my cellphone then realized I had nowhere else to go except for the nearby mall. I told myself that was probably the last place I wanted to be on the first official holiday shopping day, but I went anyway.

Remember, it's Buy Nothing Day I told myself.

I spent an hour wandering the aisles of Ross Dress for Less. I literally stood in the purse section staring at two purses, one red and one blue, for at least fifteen minutes. Do I really want these? I kept asking myself. I could carry the blue oen when I wear jeans I rationalized. Do I need a new purse, much less two? Will I ever fit them in my suitcase? When would I use the red one?

I walked over to the cash registers like a zombie and stood in line. When it was my turn to check out, I mumbled to the cashier, "I think I just changed my mind," and made a beeline for the door.

I wandered around in a bookstore for awhile and then went and stood outside Ross Dress for Less and stared at the two purses through the window.

Then my phone rang. "Jiro's awake," Warren said. "He keeps pointing at the stairs and saying, 'Mama.'"

"I'll be right there," I said, happy to be sucked back into reality.

As I rounded the bend to Neal's house I saw Warren in the yard. Jiro was standing on the steps. "Look, there's Mommy," Warren said.

Jiro took off down the walkway and sprinted down the sidewalk in my direction. "Mama!!" he happily screamed as he ran into my outstretched arms. He gave me the biggest best hug ever.

Inside everyone was preparing to eat. Jiro went over and took his seat at the kids' table and I took mine at the adult table. I watched him eat his dinner. After every few bites, he carefully put his fork down, scooched out of his chair, ran over to me, put his head in my lap, patted me, and then happily ran back to his chair.

I realized at that moment that he absolutely loved me more than anyone else in the whole world.

Later that week and all through the next week when Jiro cried out for me to hold him, or insisted on sitting in my lap while I peed, or stood guard outside my shower door, I reminded myself that this overwhelming love was a fleeting thing and that I should drink it up.