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"When they are old enough to ask for it, they are old enough to stop."
I've heard this from several people in regards to nursing. If you imagine a high school senior coming up and saying, "Mom, I'd like to suckle now," then yeah, it seems pretty horrifying.
But when your 20 month old grins at you and says, "Night night," it's actually kind of cute.
Nursing apparently became "Night night" because, from birth, I have almost always nursed Jiro in a lying down position on the bed in an attempt to get him to nap or go to sleep for the night. (Or in the middle of the night to keep him asleep.)
Satchel never had a word for nursing even though he nursed until he was talking quite a bit. I nursed Satchel everywhere. He would usually climb in my lap, make eye contact, smile, and then lean his head back.
Jiro is a boy of few words, but "Night night" is definitely his most popular phrase. I have to admit I am growing a little tired and mildly resentful of the "Night night" action, even though he only nurses once at bedtime and once around 5:30am. I would gladly stop, but the little milk monkey is nothing if not stubborn. Besides, I do spend a great deal of time encouraging him to "use his words" and express himself.
He went 5 days without nursing last September when he had Rota Virus. I thought he was done for good, but once he felt better, he picked up right where he left off. In October I went to a conference in Missouri and he went another 5 days with no boobs, but again, the minute I came home it was all about the "Night night."
Maybe the saying should go "When they are old enough to reason with, then they are old enough to stop." Because really, there's no reasoning with a 20 month old.
"Night night," he says.
"Not right now, honey," I say.
"Niiiigght niiiight," he pleads.
"No, honey. Go to sleep."
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
"Shh...go to slee--OW! Don't pull my hair!"
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
"Shh...it's okay, go to slee--OW! Don't bite me!"
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
"Jiro, go to sleep," I say sternly.
"No," he says in a tiny voice. "Night night," tears are pooled around his big brown eyes. He genuinely seems sorry for having resorted to violence.
I hold my ground. It's 5:30am!
"Night night," he snuffles.
I am weak. It's 5:30am!
"Dammit kid," I say as I lift up my shirt.
Luckily we are only having this argument once a day. And if it weren't happening in the wee hours of the night, I think I might actually win on occasion.
There will be a day when he stops nursing. Who knows, maybe I'll even feel a little sad. Until that day comes, whenever someone says, "When they are old enough to ask for it, they are old enough to stop," I'll just say "Fuck off."
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1 comment:
It's "night-night" around here, too. The LSG always called it that, but the LSB only does about half of the time. The other half, she says "Ah-MUK", which evolved from "other one milk" when she wanted to switch sides. Right now, the LSB has the dreaded rotavirus and I am muy grateful for her nursing as it is keeping her well-hydrated under rough conditions. I know this sounds totally bizarre in our culture, but I don't think I'd ever consider weaning before two and a half...the daycare germs are just too hard to manage without it until they are old enough for more medicines. The LSG nursed longer than that, though. If some people are horrified at kids talking before they wean, I wonder what they'd think of her learning to read before she totally weaned. She was an early reader, but still. Yikes.
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