Blog Commenting 101

Now that my faithful commenter Stephanie has left me for another woman, I thought I would offer a primer in commenting for those of you who have emailed me or pulled me aside at the Safeway to say, “I read your blog everyday but I never know what to put in the comments!”

First, the basics:
1. There is no such thing as a silly comment. (For more info on this, see below)
2. You do not have to have a blogger account to comment.
3. Do not let the whole “enter your name and url” prompt intimidate you.
4. If you feel funny leaving your real name, make one up!
5. However, if you do have a website or a blog and you want other people to know about it, leaving a comment (with a link included) is like free advertising.
6. Once you make one comment, chances are your computer will remember all of the info you entered the first time, so the second time you comment it will be even easier!
7. Don’t let the wavy letter test scare you. There is nothing wrong with your eyes. (No, my black screen with white letters has not yet caused you permanent eye damage.) Blogger must make the letters wavy so that evil spambots cannot leave me messages like, “Need to increase your penis size? Click here…”
8. Bloggers blog because they like attention. Commenting is the cyber equivalent of applause. You may continue to applaud at your desk, but remember, I can’t see you!
9. By being the first person to comment on an entry, you can be a leader!
10. By leading, others will follow!

Now, I have also had many people confide that they start to comment and stop because they feel like their comment is silly. As I said above, There is no such thing as a silly comment!

To get you started, here is a list of suggested comments. Feel free to copy and paste them at any time:

1. You are brilliant!
2. That is the funniest thing I have ever read!
3. How do you come up with this stuff!?
4. In my next life, I want to be you!
5. It sounds like you have the most adorable children ever!
6. I wish you were my mom!
7. More! More!
8. What a great insight!
9. Best.Entry.Ever.
10. I love you!

It is even acceptable to leave comments that aren’t full sentences or words! You may make sounds, use emoticons, and even describe what you are doing at the moment to express yourself:

1. Hahahahahahahaha!
2. :) (This is a smiley face!)
3. *falls out of chair*
4. *water coming out of nose*
5. *applause*

Now get out there and make some noise people!

Disclaimer: If you still refuse to comment, that’s okay. I will blog regardless and I really do appreciate you taking the time to take a peek at my scribblings.