It's a Girl!

Today I am participating in the It's a Girl: Women Writers on Raising Daughters Blog Book Tour arranged by editor Andrea Buchanan. As I was rushing to finish the book, I realized that my period was a day late. That gave me a chance to engage in my "Could this be my daughter?" fantasy I have every time my period is past due.

I often picture a little rosy-cheeked girl named Piper chasing after her big brothers. Sometimes she is asleep in her carseat in the VW bus we bought after she was born. Sometimes I am wearing her in a sling while we look at three bedroom houses (with a garage).

This time I didn't really fantasize for too long since I got hung up on the fact that a pregnancy would severely limit my ability to be a roller derby star. I figured I could sneak through try-outs on Tuesday, but I couldn't quite figure out how I'd hike my fishnets over my second trimester belly, much less be able to lace up my skates for our first bout in November.

The essays in It's a Girl are varied and touch on a number of subjects. A few of the essays like "Cheerleader" by Miriam Peskowitz and "The Food Rules" by Ann Douglas freaked me out a little bit. I kind of felt like I did at Rosh Hashanah services when I noticed the tween girls had on bras. (And the bras had boobs in them!) The idea of my offspring being really girly or struggling with eating disorders was hard to imagine. (I can see Jiro struggling with the fact that one cannot subsist on cheese and juiceboxes alone.)

I realized that girls come with a lot of baggage, and that mothers have to unpack their bags right along with their daughters. Having sons eliminates the whole "re-examine your relationship with your mom" or "re-examine your own childhood" issues that seem to be so prevalent among the contributors of this book. (Not that I'm opposed to this--I seriously lucked out in the mom department and I have fond memories of childhood.)

Having boys is an adventure for me and appeals to my anthropological leanings. I feel like I am getting the inside scoop on men and I love the challenge of molding my boys into (I hope) future feminists. But I will admit that a few of the essays like Gayle Brandeis' "Zen Mind, Daughter's Mind," Jody Mace's "Time Capsule," and Andrea Buchanan's "Learning to Write" did give me a few pangs and made me miss what I was missing. Instead of dressing Warren and the boys in matching pajamas, I could dress myself and Piper in matching skirts. While Warren showed the boys how to fix motorcycles and build fences, Piper and I could read Judy Blume books and go see romantic comedies. And let's not forget the elaborate menstruation party I could coordinate!

Or not.

It's a Girl gave me the opportunity to see how "the other side" lives and I really enjoyed my visit. For now, I think I'll pick up a copy of It's a Boy and fantasize about a rosy-cheeked granddaughter named Piper.