Museuming with Monkeys

We took the monkeys to the Brooks Family Day in conjunction with their current exhibit, Material Terrain: A Sculptural Exploration of
Landscape and Place. The sculptures were very organic and mimicked nature so much so that you had to really look closely at some of them to see if they were real.


Outside the museum they had a lot of activity stations set up for the kids. Best of all, they had a community sculpture project that the monkeys could contribute to. (They colored "leaves" made from recycled packing material and added them to a tree made of recycled styrofoam.)



Inside the museum, there were more activities, and of course, more sculptures. The ones inside were more fanciful and much more enticing to filthy monkey paws. The first piece looked like a little metal bed with a pillow and honestly, I thought it was for resting until a security guard tackled Jiro to the floor after he attempted to mount it.

Not the best way to start off our "Family Day" tour of the art. I immediately got twitchy and instructed Warren to put Jiro on his shoulders to keep him out of trouble.

This was a good idea in theory.

Around the corner from the bench was Ming Fay's exquisite "Money Tree." I immediately pulled out my camera and started posing Satchel underneath the low-hanging fruit.



"No pictures," the turbo-guard said as she cracked me in the kneecap with her night stick. I went down hard and as I was writhing in pain, she shackled my hands together with heavy chains. She started cuffing Satchel next, but was distracted by my calls for help to Warren, who was oblivious to what was happening.

Jiro, perched comfortably around Warren's neck, was now at the perfect height to grab onto a leaf with both hands and attempt to pull it off. Warren desperately tried to unravel him from the sculpture, but he was in somewhat of a headlock thanks to Jiro's meaty thighs squeezing him.

The turbo-guard turned her attention away from Satchel and went towards Jiro. She pulled out her gun and pointed it at his skull. "Let. Go. Now." she said as Jiro laughed maniacally, completely unaware of the impending danger.

Warren screamed, "What the hell do you think you are doing?" and pushed the turbo-guard's arm down with a force I had never seen. Jiro dismounted and ran to me howling. As I shielded him and Satchel with my body, I watched in amazement as Warren placed his foot against the turbo-guard's elbow and cracked her arm in half. He kicked her gun away towards the exit and said, "It's Family Day!"

A mob of parents and children in shackles had gathered around us and started clanking their chains together in approval. Two totally hot dads helped me up and made sure the monkeys were okay. Warren grabbed the axe from a nearby fire extinguisher box and began cutting everyone loose.

Exhausted, Warren took off his shirt and wiped his brow with it. His brown skin was glistening with sweat and his muscles rippled like the Mississippi. He addressed the wide-eyed kids. "Who wants some fruit?"

"Me! Me! Me!" the monkeys said as they rushed the tree.

"Me! Me! Me!" I said as I hobbled towards my sexy-ass, soon to be forty, husband.