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Not only is it ugly, it's totally lacking in fun accessories like a bag or a tray to carry my meds, snacks, my phone...you get the idea. Getting from the kitchen to my station on the sofa is hard enough with the multiple obstacles and narrow pathways in our house without attempting to bring, oh I don't know, a fresh bottle of water back with me. (To date, I've been carrying it in my mouth.) Several times I've wandered to, say, the bathroom, only to hear my phone ring several rooms away.
I don't know how long I'll be using this sucker (or really why I was assigned one in the first place), but the chances are good that I'll someday get the opportunity to pass it on to another derby girl. Therefore I announce the official beginning of the Pimp my Walker competition. Send me your ideas and if selected, I will post before and after pictures, give you my undying gratitude, and entertain you with witty stories while you work.
There are no contest requirements other than all participants must keep one thing in mind: Safety First. (An early contestant suggested rope lights, but sadly being attached to a cord would only complicate my current situation.)
The Good
There's nothing inherently good about being injured, but if one were to look on the bright side, this would be it:
1. Wonderful family and friends to take care of me.
2. A warm place filled with electronics in which to recuperate.
3. Good insurance.
4. A steady stream of derby girls who come by and shower me with love, attention, and food every single day.
5. Pain medication.
6. Catching up on sleep.
The Bad
1. I'm not always the best at showing my family and friends how much I appreciate them.
2. Not being able to walk just sucks.
3. Using a walker really hurts my hands. Crutches aren't much better. I get winded easily and find it hard to do anything other than hang out around the house.
4. My pain medications really back up the pipes, if you know what I mean.
Back to the good: Fortunately the bad things aren't really all that bad, and most of them are just temporary.
8 comments:
Oh, come on. We could totally get a battery pack for the rope lights! How could electronics on a metal walker be dangerous?
I agree! That sucker needs to be lit up.
how bout some spinner wheels and hydraulics? that would be freaky dope!
Haven't you seen the little old ladies with a big bag tied to their walker to carry books, kleenex, and long sticks to beat other old people with? you might not have to carry water bottles in your mouth. hope you get well soon. just so you know a stalker is not writing, i am click's mom-in-law.
My flight to Denver on Wednesday was canceled so I have a couple unplanned days at home and a huge stash of fabric. I'd be happy to make you a walker bag from the Laura's Walker Bag pattern in a fabric befitting a roller derby outfit (I make a lot of costume parts so I'm sure I have something that's right for a roller derby girl) and have it in the mail to you by Saturday. Drop me an e-mail at oddharmonic(at)gmail(dot)com if you're interested.
I'm not into the pimping so much as the utilitarian. Love that someone is already working up a walker bag for you. I have to think a baby sling would come in handy about now. Or even a backpack. You could either sling it over the walker somehow or better yet, just attached the backpack to your back with water or whatevah and then slog back to the couch.
I think you need glitter. Lots and lots of red and blue glitter.
Good gracious goddess! I just read all of this, Stace - I've been mostly offline for weeks. I am so sorry about your injuries! Sounds like you are a major derbygirl trooper.
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