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Knowing how smart he is, I did start to worry that he would catch on to the lie this year. We normally open presents at my mom's house on Christmas Eve--a tradition started when my twin sister and I found out Santa did not exist. (We argued that there was no real reason to wait until Christmas morning and our parents caved.) Last year, Warren hung stockings at our house for Santa to fill. This year, we wanted to do something a little more.
A couple of weeks ago Satchel informed me that he needed to "write Santa a letter and tell him to bring a Megazord." So we got some paper and I helped Satchel spell out the words. Next he informed me that "the letter needs to be thrown into the wind so it can fly to the North Pole." Warren, the environmentalist, intervened and suggested putting the letter on the Christmas tree for one of the elves to deliver. Satchel agreed. Once he was asleep, I put the letter in my purse and that was that.
"We have a problem," Warren said the next day. "The new Megazord doesn't come out until January."
"Hmmm...not good," I said.
"Maybe I can find one on Ebay," he said.
And sure enough, Ebay had it. "I can get it for $30," he said happily. "That's cheaper than retail."
So Warren ordered it and we waited. And waited. Finally the seller informed us that he had made a mistake, and that he didn't have a Megazord after all.
Wtf?
Warren went back to Ebay and found another, much more expensive one. "Should I get it?" he asked.
"Go ahead," I said full of the consumerist spirit. "See if they can overnight it."
We were dangerously close to Christmas, but Ebay seller #2 came through. The Megazord arrived a day early and was immediately hidden under the bed. We decided that Santa would leave one gift for each monkey under the tree. (Warren bought Jiro a Buzz Lightyear after noticing his lust for it on their last Target run.)
I also suggested that Warren put his fancy new guitar under the tree since it was indeed his Christmas present and the kids hadn't seen it yet.
"What about you?" he asked. "Are you going to put your painting under the tree?"
"Well, the kids went with me to pick it up. It might blow Santa's cover," I said. "I'll just tell them that I didn't ask Santa for anything other than two wonderful children."
Warren gave me a funny look, but kept his mouth shut. "Do you have time to wrap everything?" he asked.
"Santa doesn't wrap presents," I replied.
"Says who?" he asked incredulously.
"Says Kristy."
" ..."
"Besides, don't you think Satchel will be tipped off by the fact that all of the gifts he opens from us at Gigi's house will be in the same wrapping paper?" I asked (before witnessing Satchel's complete lack of regard for wrapping paper during his Christmas Eve performance).
"Whatever," he said, convinced that I was being more lazy than pragmatic.
As we drove out to my mom's house on Christmas Eve, I said to Satchel, "Now remember, Santa comes on Christmas morning. Tonight we are opening presents from our family."
"Okay," he said.
"What's Santa bringing you again?" Warren asked, playing dumb.
"A Megazord!"
"What's Santa bringing you?" I asked Jiro.
"Buzz Lightyear," he said.
I looked at Warren. "Did you tell him?" I asked quietly.
"No," he said. "I swear."
"Huh," I was very impressed.
Later when Satchel was opening his last gift, he mistook the Rock'em Sock'em Robots video game box for the Megazord box. As he tore into it he said, "Yeah! This is what I want--wait a minute, this isn't a Megazord!"
Before he could go into a full pout I reminded him again of Santa's arrival in just a few short hours.
By the time we got home it was nearly midnight and both monkeys were fast asleep in the back. Warren woke up Satchel and said, "Come on! We have to put out Santa's cookies and the reindeer food!"
Satchel immediately woke up and got to work. He was so excited. Once everything was in place he said, "I have to go to bed now so Santa will come!"
I had visions of him waking up at 6:30am and as I ate a few of Santa's cookies, I suddenly regretted my involvement in the whole Santa charade. As Warren placed the toys and his guitar under the tree, I said, "Please don't let them wake up at the crack."
The next morning I heard the monkeys stirring at 10:30am--a true Christmas miracle! (Maybe Santa is real!) I hobbled into the livingroom to find two very excited little boys. Satchel immediately went to work on his Megazord and hardly noticed anything else going on.
Jiro was very pleased to find Buzz and spent a good ten minutes playing with him before going back to his beloved Cars DVD.
Once Warren broke out his guitar and plugged it into his amp, Jiro realized he wasn't thinking big enough and I saw him make a mental note for next year. He spent the next half hour desperately trying to get Warren to show him how to play.
Satchel eventually took note of Warren's guitar and turned his attention to me. "What did Santa bring you?" he asked.
"Nothing," I said.
His eyes got big and he said, "Why??"
"No, I just didn't ask for anything," I said. "I'm just happy to have two wonderful little boys."
"But Santa should have gotten you something," he said, now clearly disappointed in The Jolly One.
I looked at Warren helplessly.
"Santa brought you a painting, remember?" he said.
"Oh yeah!" I said. "Where is it?"
Warren rushed into the dining room and brought in Pocky, which was still neatly wrapped up and hidden so that it would not be harmed before getting hung. I opened it up and Satchel oohed and aahed as though he had never seen it before. Warren, who had actually never seen it before, said, "Wow, that's cool."
So I guess my worrying about outing Santa was a bit premature. I'll consider it practice for next year.
1 comment:
Santa doesn't wrap presents at our house either, per Chip. I gave in reluctantly the first year, but now I like it.
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