The $135,000 Question

So people keep asking, "How's the new house?" They mean well, I'm sure, but I only have one answer, "It's fine, but WE HAVEN'T SOLD THE OLD HOUSE YET."

Or even put it on the market for that matter.

In December, when I was gimping around the house on my walker, knocking into things, cursing the smallness and clutteredness of our abode, I told my realtor that I wanted to sell the house but only if it meant that I didn't have to do anything. He smiled, promised, and then suggested buying a house first so we could show it empty.

By the end of January we found a house we loved, made an offer, and decided to move in Saturday, March 3rd. I just assumed our house would then go on the market Monday, March 5th.

Is that the universe I hear laughing?

What I hadn't counted on was the Warren Factor. Warren doesn't half ass anything, so I'm not sure why I assumed he'd let me get away with selling the house "as-is."

It's now March 18th and I've spent the last two weekends cleaning out gunk from the bottom and back of the refrigerator, scrubbing each and every wall with a Magic Eraser, washing baseboards, scrubbing windows, painting closets...you get the idea. And really this is nothing compared to what Warren has been doing--painting ceilings, cleaning tile floors with a giant toothbrush, painting ceilings, repairing everything that we put off repairing for seven years plus the things that decided to break in the last two months, power washing the house, painting the porch, and so on.

I finally called the realtor this morning and said, "We need you to come over and tell us to stop."

"I'll be there in an hour," he said.

Much to my delight, when he came over, he was all smiles. "Stop," he said as dollar signs danced in his eyes.

We need to sign some papers, do a little mopping, gather the ten thousand cleaning supplies scattered around the house, and then the sign is going in the yard Tuesday*!

Can I get a hallelujah? Or better yet, can I get an offer? In writing?

Since my first fantasy didn't work out, I'm desperately hoping my second one (the one in which a bidding war ensues and I have my student loans paid off by Memorial Day) does.

*And no, this does not mean that the deck is done. Don't ask about the deck!