Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Tonsillectomy Tales

This morning we got up bright & early for Warren's long-awaited, much-anticipated tonsillectomy. Having never been in the hospital or under anesthesia, he was a bit nervous. But thanks to me, his loving wife, and a slew of medical professionals, he made it through with flying colors.

When we arrived at the hospital, the woman at the information desk looked at Warren's insurance info and said, "No way you are 41!" and just stared at him for several minutes in disbelief.

Once in his private room (and in his gown), the nurses who did his pre-op quiz cooed, "Wow, that is so great that you've never been in the hospital..."

The nursing students who did his EKG purred, "So what are you going to do with your tonsils if you get to keep them?"

Warren just sat back and giggled, "I haven't had this much attention in a long time!"

It was precious.

So back to the part about him keeping his tonsils. As you may or may not know, Team Oster likes to keep their body parts. Warren envisioned a multicolored bacterial invasion behind his tonsils and wanted to see it. (And show the kids, I'm sure.)

My assignment for the day was to see if I could secure his tonsils or somehow take a photo of them. Going into the surgery, I knew it would be difficult, as my brother, a resident at the hospital, told me the tonsils would go to Pathology. However, when I made my request to the most earnest of the nurses, her earnestness made me think it might actually happen. "I'll note it on the chart," she said authoritatively.

When Dr. C popped his head in to tell me how the operation went, my brother was visiting with me. "Can I have the tonsils?" I asked.

"Oh no, they've gone to Pathology," he said.

"Well can my brother (who is clearly a doctor) go get them?" I asked.

"There's not much to see," he said, trying to disinterest me.

"Yeah, just imagine a lump of hamburger meat," my brother said in a Look at me, I'm a cool doctor kind of way.

I decided to let it go.

Until my soon-to-be-sister-in-law came by to visit. (She also works in the hospital.) I explained the dilemma and she said, "Hmmm...if I can find Pathology, I'll see if I can get them."

Go STBSIL!

I started to wonder, Does Pathology exist in a mythical realm or something?

STBSIL soon returned, tonsils in tow, and you know what? They do look a lot like hamburger meat! Stay tuned to Chop Fayn to see what becomes of them!


Created with Admarket's flickrSLiDR.

Just kidding! Pathology wouldn't part with the tonsils. Told STBSIL that they were "infectious," and "toxic," and were most likely already sliced up and floating in formaldehyde.

Bastards.

I'm happy to report that Warren is doing awesome. After some pain meds, a little nap, and some very watery grits, he's up, playing the Wii, playing guitar, and even yelling at the kids!

9 comments:

deep throat said...

"Doing Awesome?!!!" I'm totally feeling Blucky and Gasplunkelflunkelated--I'm just diverting my attention away from the pain of having two of my gazookiehoppers ripped out of my throat and diced into mincemeat.

How does tonsil ceviche sound for the next cocktail night? If we're gonna survive the End Times we gotta toughen up.

Lone Star Ma said...

Well. I hope you feel better.

Stephanie said...

I'm so out of the loop- I didn't know about this until about 10:30 last night! Which we all know is too late for me to try texting. Hope he's doing well!

RJA said...

I just read on the Google that the tonsils are where the sushi taste receptors are located. Oh well.

Hope you're feeling fine.

Chip said...

Ewwww.

Glad you made it through alive, Warren!

Secret Agent Mom said...

This is the most elaborate ploy to skip work and play Wii that I've heard of yet. Hope you're feeling better and improving your E.R.A.

Poopie said...

As per our recent email exchange re: PO
looks like its half past toenail time, Poop.

warren said...

Truth be told SAM, it's my most jumbleatedly labyrinthine scheme yet to get some of your ambrosial throat-soothing homemade ice cream.

Melissa said...

So does this mean that y'all literally can't play tonsil hockey now?

Hope you are feeling better!

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