Satchel's First (And Possibly Last) Wedding

Warren's coworker got married at the beautiful Botanic Gardens on Saturday. We had all been looking forward to the blessed event, as the bride and groom are wonderful people, the Botanic Gardens is a very child-friendly place for a wedding and many of the guests were parents.

I don't particularly enjoy getting dressed up, but I love dressing the boys up. I bought Satchel a new seersucker suit to wear, since he outgrew his old one just in time for Jiro to wear it. I also bought Warren some seersucker pants and a linen shirt to wear. (Yes, I bought myself a seersucker suit too, but no, I didn't wear it.)

Satchel had made a quick recovery from the viral attack of the night before, but poor Jiro was too squirty to actually leave the house. He stayed home with my mom while Warren, Satchel, and I went to the wedding. Sadly my perfectly planned seersucker trio became a duo and I didn't get my much lusted after photo op. But Satchel and Warren still looked rather dashing.


Satchel got a little squirmy and talky during the actual ceremony and I was somewhat relieved that Jiro wasn't attending. I was sure that the two of them would have escaped our clutches and encouraged each other to run wild down the aisle and in the azalea bushes. I went so far as to think, Oh this will be a breeze with just Satchel, my mature four-year-old.

Once the ceremony was over we took a stroll through the Japanese gardens. As you can see, Satchel felt very stuffy and inhibited in his suit.


We made our way back to the reception hall for some champagne and juice. Satchel was pretty amped up, so I decided to walk him around the room while Warren mingled with his coworkers. Satchel and I were both most impressed with the groom's cake. It consisted of a mountain of Krispy Kreme donuts accented by chocolate covered strawberries. Neither one of us had ever seen anything like it. I doubted we'd make it all the way to the cake cutting, so I just pretended to eat a donut in my mind. And two strawberries.


The actual wedding cake, which looked like three presents stacked upon each other, paled in comparison to the Krispy Kreme mountain in my mind, but it was still very lovely. I took my eyes off of the cake (and Satchel) for just a moment to locate Warren. Before I knew it, Satchel had a fistful of icing and the cake had a giant hole in it.


Look closer.


I was absolutely mortified. There's no telling how many people actually saw what happened. I felt a million eyes on my back as I grabbed a napkin and wiped Satchel's hand off. I calmly, but quickly, dragged him out of the reception hall toward the ladies' room. I spotted one of Warren's coworkers, briefly told him what happened, and asked him to send Warren to the ladies' room.

Once we got in the hall, I whispered to Satchel, angry and stunned, "Why did you do that?"

"I thought it was plastic," he whimpered.

I hadn't considered that. I just assumed he was trying to get a taste of the cake. Judging from the fact that he had icing all over his hand, and not just on his pointer finger, I had to say that I believed him. He had never seen such a fancy cake before and was curious. He's four, I reminded myself. I should have been on high alert.

Once I got him cleaned off, I said, "Let's go find the bride and groom and apologize." He buried his head in my lap.

Warren was waiting outside the ladies' room and seemed to be taking it all in stride. "I'm sure Andrew will understand," he said.

"But what about Candice? Do you have any idea how crazy some people get about their wedding cake?" I stammered.

I went back in and adjusted the fern foliage to mask the dent as best I could and then took Satchel outside to wait for the bride and groom to return from their photo shoot.

When the trolley pulled up and the wedding party decended, I coyly called Andrew over. I said, "Everything was just beautiful! Congratulations!" He smiled and I continued, "Your cake is so beautiful, Satchel didn't think it was real. He shoved his whole hand in it when I wasn't looking." His eyes grew wide, but he continued to smile. "I'm so sorry," I said. "I tried to mask it with the ferns, and I'm happy to pay for it." Before I could finish, he started laughing and gave me a big hug.

"Don't worry," he said. "It's no big deal."

Andrew went back to his bride and they made their way into the reception hall with the wedding party. I held my breath as I watched Andrew whisper the news to Candice.

I swear she chuckled.

I was so relieved, I started crying.

Satchel and I went home soon after to check on Jiro and Warren stayed to enjoy the party. The next morning he told me that when it was time to eat the cake, he ate the piece with Satchel's handprint in it.