Still Life with Toddler and Preschooler

I’ve managed to get my very own bed. It’s the double bed Warren and I (then Warren, Satchel, and I) shared for many years. Now it is in our guestroom, which Satchel calls “Mommy’s room.” (I call it the storage room since the bed is surrounded by piles of motorcycle parts and tool bags and who knows what else.) I am usually awakened by the sound of feet barreling down the hall and the doorknob turning. Jiro, now 24 months old, comes to get me as soon as he wakes up. He comes in with his blankie and a big smile, climbs in the bed, says, “Iwanwatchnines,” and then puts his head on my chest for a quick snuggle. Sometimes he points to the closet where I’ve hidden all of the DVDs and says, “Iwanwatchdada.”

The original translation of “Iwanwatchnines” was “I want to watch Little Einsteins,” but he now uses this phrase to mean he wants to watch whatever his favorite show is. (Right now it is Barney, much to my chagrin.) “Iwanwatchdada” means he wants to watch a Kikaida DVD. (Kikaida is a Japanese character from the 70s who resembles Warren.) Jiro isn’t allowed to watch DVDs (or videos or CDs) because it only takes a few minutes for him to change his mind, demand a new one, push all of the buttons a gazillion times, and ultimately end up in tears. We have resorted to DVR (digital video recorder) to help curb his addiction.

Snuggle time usually only lasts a few minutes, depending on how desperately Jiro wants to watch TV and how desperately I need to pee. Sometimes when Jiro comes barreling in, Satchel is right behind him. (Most days Satchel is stealing extra minutes of sleep with his Daddy in the big bed.) When I get to snuggle them both, I try to really enjoy it before the early morning “I want this, I want that…” demands begin.

I can hardly believe no one is sucking on my boobs these days. They are totally shriveled up. (My Cameroonian neighbor would be so proud!) The other day, while I was lying in bed with Satchel and Jiro, Satchel said, "Mommy, I can't feel your boobs anymore!" He was very alarmed. I looked down and I didn't see anything and became a little alarmed myself. Thankfully I looked side to side before completely panicking. Turns out, my boobs were camouflaging themselves in my armpits! Crisis averted.

On school days, morning are usually a whirlwind of Barney, breakfast, showering, and getting dressed. Satchel is very much like a teenager in the morning. He moves really slow and is very particular about what he wants to wear and eat. Jiro moves fast and is happy to eat anything and everything you put in front of him. He is getting particular about his clothes though. He likes his Kikaida shirt, his Ramones shirt, and that’s about it. Jiro is very into sharing. Every morning he makes sure that he and Satchel both get their vitamins and he always takes Satchel one of whatever he is snacking on (cheese, a juice box, seaweed, whatever).

We are running late almost everyday. I actually get them to school on time, but I am almost always late to work by at least 15 minutes. The drive to school is crazy-making. Jiro is the self-appointed DJ and goes berserk if I don’t play exactly what he wants to hear. Occasionally he goes through phases (i.e. the Ramones, Gwendolyn and the Good Time Gang) and we have a little peace, but usually no matter what I put on, he screams, “No like that!” Satchel doesn’t care about the music as much as he cares about the route I take. He is the worst backseat driver ever. “I don’t want to go this way! Go the slow way!” Satchel likes looking out of the windows and is no hurry to go anywhere. (Ditto on the drive home.)

Once at school I have to be very careful to make sure I kiss Satchel, hug him, and give him a high five. (And then wave to him from outside the window.) Missing any of these steps puts him in tears. Jiro must be hand delivered to Ms. Anna (or Ms. Angela if she is there). He is spoiled beyond belief and the teachers actually fight over who gets to hold him when he comes in. It’s a good 15 minutes before his feet hit the floor. I’m told he also likes to sit in a teacher’s lap at lunch time and help himself to their food.

On weekends, mornings are much more relaxed with a lot of playing and running around before going to the trails, the playground, skating school, or whatever we have planned. We’re trying to phase out naps in the attempt to get the boys to bed earlier, but Jiro’s not quite ready to give it up completely. Getting them both to nap together is quite a struggle and usually takes an hour of begging, pleading, bargaining, and screaming. I am turning towards the “let’s drive somewhere far away and let them sleep in the car” approach.

Both of the boys love being outside. Satchel is obsessed with catching toads in the front yard and Jiro is obsessed with the three (very friendly) pit bulls next door. They both love running through the trails, although Jiro usually campaigns to get on someone’s shoulders (“I want doochoo” he says as he plants himself in front of you) midway through. At the playground Satchel is in the “I want to play with other kids” phase while Jiro is content to be pushed on the swings for eternity. Jiro is able to scale all of the ladders now and can give scale the railing a bit. Satchel has finally mastered the monkey bars.

Warren is still making us elaborate meals and Satchel is still a very good eater who likes to experiment (within reason). A couple of weeks ago he ate an entire chicken gizzard! Jiro, despite his girth, is not a very big eater. He does consume a lot of calories in the morning (and then on his teacher’s lap at lunch), but by nightfall shows very little interest in anything except dessert. He does love liquids though—especially alcoholic ones! He’d probably be happy to subsist on cheese sticks and juice boxes for the rest of his life.

Satchel is a great builder and is very into legos and blocks. He got a Japanese temple block set for his birthday and put it all together with no problem. He constructs spaceships out of extremely tiny legos and has started making paper airplanes just this week. He is also an amazing artist. Jiro likes puzzles and cars, but not nearly as much as he likes the TV, microwave, cellphone, alarm clock, and CD player. They are both learning to skate—Satchel must faster than Jiro—and they both like to ride around the house on skateboards. Bikes are of some interest, but neither one has really mastered this activity.

Satchel and Jiro are both very into books. Well, I should say they like the idea of reading books. They usually fight over which book I should read first, then lose interest half way through and fight over which one I should read next. These fights often become violent, which is why, most nights, I choose to read them a book called, Hands are Not for Hitting.

I bought it after reading several reviews that went like this: My 19 month old son LOVES this book. It's one of his favorites. It is simple but the message is powerful and perfect for little hitters. I would recommend it to everyone that is struggling with hitting behaviors.

Last week, in the midst of the Book Wars, I ended up with our copy of "Hands are not for hitting" right smack in the middle of my face. I could see Jiro thinking It didn't say "Hands are not for throwing!. A few days later while I was only on page two, Satchel smacked the book with his right hand and sent it flying across the room.

I've been having better luck lately with Eric Carle's Papa, Please Get the Moon for Me. I change the little girl's name to Satchel and Jiro, make everything plural, and talk like they talk: "DADDY! GET ME THE MOON! GET IT NOW!" This cracks them up.

But generally, putting them to bed is a struggle. Satchel actually goes to sleep pretty quickly as long as you rub him, but Jiro has a hard time winding down. I get easily frustrated after a half hour or so. Warren is better at getting them to calm down and I like it when he takes over. Most nights we are usually able to get them to sleep by 10pm (!!) so we can watch “The Daily Show.”

Warren and I spend the rest of the evening making lunches, doing dishes, talking on the phone, sending emails, finishing archaeology reports, watching shows on the DVR, making roller derby shirts, or addressing birthday invitations or whatever needs to get done. I usually go to bed by midnight and Warren goes by 1am. I like to peek at the boys before I go to sleep. Despite falling asleep at opposite ends of the bed, the usually gravitate towards each other and sleep with their arms and legs tangled together. Sometimes they are at opposite ends, with just their toes touching.