Travelogue Memphis-Wichita

Stardate: Friday, June 23, 2006
Car Mileage: 87,669

7:50am Packed up and ready to go. (So much for our 6am lift off!) The boys slept in their clothes and were up for maybe 5 minutes before being strapped in.
9:13am Warren threatens to throw Satchel's hotwheel out of the window. Jiro is busy amusing himself with the viewfinder. (The picture wheels are a great stand-in for his CD fixation.) He happily points at the viewfinder and squeals, "Mommy! Nemo!" "Mommy" has already been uttered atleast 345 times.
9:30am Satchel throws a plastic dinosaur into the front seat. Jiro throws a plastic Nemo two seconds later. Giggles erupt in backseat. I calmly place the offending toys in the visor and notify the children that they are in permanent time out.
10:01am Jiro bangs his golf balls (he insists on having 1-2 golf balls on his person at all times) on the window but a simple warning stops him.
10:51am Jiro co-opts Warren's fancy Asian energy drink.
11:00am First rest stop. Made it past Little Rock--woohoo! Do a little mini-hike through the camping area to stretch the boys' legs. Satchel discovers strange bone and brings it into the car.
11:30am Pass out lollipops. To my horror I see Satchel sucking on the strange bone. "Oops, I thought it was my lollipop," he laughs. Ew.
11:43am Possible bird killing. "It might be stuck in your grill," Warren calmly informs me. Double Ew.
12:05pm Satchel wraps string cheese in sushi but decides after two bites that it is yucky.
12:09pm Jiro manages to recreate Peabody Park sprayground in the backseat using on his mouth and a bottle of water. The misting helps all of the stray seaweed flakes stick to the boys faces and clothes.
12:12pm Nemo hits me in the nose. (I thought that thing was in time out!) Warren lodges Nemo in the window. Jiro is distressed.
12:15pm Jiro's golf balls are confiscated after more window banging.
12:17pm Pass redheaded hitchhiker and Warren informs the boys that "That could be you if you don't behave."
12:20pm Gas. 276 miles down. I purchase sugarless gum, fried chicken legs, and a copy of "Buttman" (just kidding) at the gas station. Come outside to find children on their very best behavior. Warren informs me that while I was inside he pretended to leave me in an attempt to scare the kids straight. They immediately burst into tears and promised to do right.
12:52pm Heavy rain in Okalahoma. Satchel keeps asking us about the "Big Cave in Oklahoma." We eventually decipher that the Little Einsteins go to a big cave in Oklahoma in their show, but we still have no idea where it is.
12:55pm Jiro falls asleep! Satchel becomes obsessed with a tornado hitting us. Warren discovers that he has left his Mapquest maps at his office.
1:09pm Consult road atlas. Have a minor freak out about the magnitude of this undertaking.
2:09pm Jiro wakes up.
2:29pm Blinding rain has us all sitting in scared silence.
2:30pm Satchel breaks the silence with a litany of questions. "Are we in the city or the country? Is it dinner time? Can you count to 3 hours? Is a tornado invisible? Is it raining in Memphis? Is it raining in Kansas? Is that the cave?"
2:54pm After a brief respite, questions resume.
3:20pm More gas. Another 185 miles down. Eat at McDonald's so the kids can have more plastic cars to fight over and throw.
4:02pm On the road again. Nasty fast food belly.
4:08pm Jiro recreates the sprayground, but this time with juice.
4:45pm Satchel falls asleep! Jiro goes back to the viewfinder.
4:57pm Realize that I have a painful rugburn on my arm as a result of having to turn around and face the backseat every 5 seconds.
4:58pm Warren points out another rest stop we visited on our 2002 road trip.
4:59pm Pray silently in my head that Jiro will stop saying "Mommy!" every few seconds.
5:07pm Kansas state line!
5:08pm Jiro says, "I want to go to the playground."
5:09pm Jiro requests that his golf balls be returned. He's been displaying pretty good behavior so I give them back. (Do you hear that Anonymous!?)
5:18pm Satchel is awake, but his leg is asleep. Much drama ensues.
5:50pm Happily pull into the Best Western parking lot.
5:51pm Discover we are at the wrong BW.
6:02pm Pull into the correct hotel parking lot. We made it! (I managed to read 4 zines in their entirety on the first leg.)