Wednesday, February 21, 2007

American Appalled

I am generally not a big fan of American Apparel. For the most part, I think their sizing is crazy small. And there's always those pesky sexual harrassment rumors.

BUT it seems like I've had to take one for the team, the Legion of Zoom that is. American Apparel has just the right shade of red shirts and blue bottoms, not to mention sparkly underthings and stripey socks, that every Z-Girl needs.

After a tip from Moxie Dynamite, I went in yesterday to purchase a red skort. And some stripey socks. (You can't go in and not get the stripey socks.) As I was checking out, one employee asked, "Are you in the roller derby?" I laughed and said yes like I do everytime I go in.

The employee who was (literally) checking me out, said, "Oh wow, how's that going?"

"Well," I said, "I broke my leg a few months ago so I haven't been doing too much skating lately."

"Oh," she said. "My friend Jorden is a PKP."

"Yeah, it was the PKPs that broke my leg," I said in a way that did not let on that the Z-Girls were to scrimmage the PKPs in a few short hours and avenge me.

"Oh my god!" she exclaimed. "I was there! I saw you break your leg."

I just smiled and nodded and mumbled something about the worst pain of my life.

Then she said, "OK, I know this is going to sound horrible, but everytime someone asks me about roller derby I say, 'It's so cool! I saw a lady break her leg!'"

I demured and said, "Yeah, I guess my injury made people realize that it's for real."

She smiled eagerly and started on a rampage of well wishes as I politely made a break for the door. I kind of laughed to myself a little as I got in the car, but once I started driving, I felt a little miffed. I wasn't necessarily upset by the American Apparel checkout girl's sentiment, but her wording. She saw a "lady" break her leg. Ladies do not play roller derby. Women play roller derby. Tough ass bitches play roller derby.

I couldn't help thinking that she meant lady as in old lady.

I am not an old lady.

I'm officially turning in my walker, crutches, cane, and (sniff) my handicapped parking decal on March 11th. That's when my ortho cleared me to "fully participate in roller derby activities."

Look out bitches!

4 comments:

RJA said...

The hell is a skort?

Stephanie said...

After your bout I heard a radio DJ saying, "Dude, I went to the roller derby and the one time I went outside to smoke was when some chick broke her leg! I totally missed it!" I know it hurt and all, but you have serious street cred now. At least you will until people hear about the skort.

Anonymous said...

A skort is the spork of apparel. A combination of a skirt and shorts, which makes sure you can wear that tniy skirt without fear of showing off your hoo ha.

Stacey--I'm all with you about not wanting to feel like an old lady, but at least your babysitter (19) did not ask you if you were a hippy in the 60s. Oh yes, mine did.

(This is Cathy White. I can't publish comments under anything but anonymous for some reason.)

R said...

No. Fucking. Way.

THAT ROCKS!!!!! I cannot wait to get your booty back to blocking. We needs it.

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