Slumber Party Play by Play

Friday, April 20

5:00pm
Pick up Satchel, Jiro, and Kai at school. Spend ten to fifteen minutes trying to figure out the seating arrangements. (Rather than bring along our extra carseat that fits in the back, I asked Kai's mom to leave his--unbeknownst to me--enormous carseat at the school.)

5:30pm
Satchel, Jiro, and Kai bounce around the house while waiting for the other kids to show up. Stella is the first to arrive. Satchel bolts out the door to greet her, runs across the yard, and then falls and busts both his knees open on the sidewalk. I run out and do my best to stop his high pitched screams. (Thankfully Stella's dad works at the school and is familiar with this kind of action.)

Satchel is eventually soothed by the fact that Stella has come bearing gifts: finger paint and paper!

Kai comes in crying now, because Jiro bit him, and thankfully everyone forgets about finger painting for a minute.

Stella's dad makes a break for it.

5:45pm
Jack arrives. It is very exciting! He joins the others in the back yard while I chat with his mom. JP and RJA arrive next. Jack's mom happily says, "I'm off to the movies! See ya tomorrow! Tra-la-la!"

JP heads to the back yard and I chat with RJA. "What are y'all doing tonight?" I ask innocently.

He grins and says, "You don't know?"

I immediately assume he is referring to his most active sex life, when he sheepishly says, "Everyone is coming over to our house." ("Everyone" being Team Chockley and S.A.M.)

"What?" I say shocked. "Thanks for the courtesy invite!"

RJA looks down at his shoes.

"First you oust me as cruise director, and now you have parties when you know I can't come?? Is Kristy cooking?" I ask.

"Yeah, Chicken Tikkas," he says.

"Oh my god!" I resist the urge to kick him.

"Maybe you can sneak out later," he says as he runs towards the door.

6:30pm
Where is Miles? Satchel, Jack, and JP have their shoes off and are camped out on the sofa staring out the window. "Put your shoes back on and go outside," I say.

"We can't. Our knees hurt," they say in unison.

Finally Miles arrives and the party officially starts. (Miles came carrying a gift bag that Satchel lunged for immediately. Inside was a Ben Ten action figure. I've never seen or heard of Ben Ten, but somehow Satchel had.)

Warren and I hang with Miles' parents for a bit--his dad is the first person to take me up on the offer of a beer. (Actually, he's the first person I offered one to.)

6:45pm
The kids have tired of playing basketball on Satchel's brand new basketball goal.

"Let's go hunt for snakes in the front yard!" Satchel announces to the group and they all run after him to the front yard, across the street, and into the overgrown field. I follow behind hoping Warren does not have to use his venom-sucking-peace-corps-issue black stone.

Jiro comes over crying because Kai bit him. "Paybacks are hell," I say.

7:00pm
Jiro and I go to the Memphis Pizza Cafe to pick up dinner...and then to Joe's Liquors for some Rum. (Smartly, Warren has decided to try out his new Mojito recipe.)

7:30pm
The seven kids take their places at the table and before I know it two large pizzas have disappeared before my eyes. JP, our picky eater, asked, "Is it Domino's?"

"Uh...no," I said nervously, "It's Memphis Pizza Cafe."

"Memphis Pizza Cafe!" he exclaimed. Clearly it was the best news he'd heard all day.


8:00pm
Everyone is in Satchel's room fondling a Power Ranger or two. (Except Miles who is fondling the Ben Ten dude that he brought.) Something happens and Satchel is in tears again. "I'm tired! I want to go to bed!"

"That's fine with me," I say, hardly believing my luck.

"I want to take a bath first," he says.

"Let's do it!"

Not everyone is as excited about bath time as Satchel, but it's only a matter of minutes before Satchel, Jiro, Kai, and JP are neck deep in bubbles. I am now faced with the task of getting everyone's dirty clothes in their respective backpacks, retrieving their pajamas, etc. (Of the whole crew, JP is the only one who shows any initiative. He has his jammies laid out on the bed, ready to go. The others seem to think their pajamas will appear out of nowhere...which I guess they do.)

Once the first group is clean (and has completed comparing penises and underwear) the second group, consisting only of Miles, heads to the bath. I try very hard to get Jack in the tub, but he refuses. Stella, of course, is given a pass. (She changed her clothes in the livingroom closet which I thought was really cute. And she was the only one concerned about brushing her teeth.)

8:30pm
Most everyone is clean, but no one seems tired anymore. Satchel climbs into the pantry and starts handing out the special candy that Warren bought. (Pocky and Japanese Botan rice candy that has w/edible paper and a tattoo inside.) They all run towards Satchels' room, but I redirect them to the livingroom. My plan is to let them watch a movie, get sleepy, and then transfer them to the bedroom.

I rented three movies for the party: "Spy Kids," "Inspector Gadget," and "Where the Wild Things Are." Jiro takes charge of the remote, and pops in "Where the Wild Things Are." The kids run back and forth gathering blankets and sleeping bags and set up camp. Then they demand popcorn. And drinks.

I am officially a waitress, nothing more, nothing less. (Okay, I do dabble as tattoo artist as the kids come over one by one with their tattoos.) On my sixteenth trip into the livingroom, I realize that there are entire boxes of Pocky crushed under the sofa cushions, an explosion of popcorn in 5 out of 7 blankets, and at least three separate drink puddles.

9:00pm
Warren decides it's time to make me a Mojito. Thank god!

9:15pm
Most of the kids are winding down. One is not. He shall remain nameless. I issued the first of many, "Hey ___, do you want me to call your mom and have her pick you up?" threats.

9:30pm
I kick everyone out of the livingroom so I can clean and put Warren in charge of teeth brushing.

9:48pm
Warren has made a giant pallet on the floor of the boys' room. Most everyone has a spot on it. (Jiro and Miles agree to lay in the bed.) "Spy Kids" is on the TV. There's lots of squirming and giggling.

"Miles used your toothbrush, Mommy," Satchel reports.

10:00pm
I'm on my second Mojito. I turn to Warren and ask, "Would it be wrong to give them all some melatonin?"

I notice *someone else who shall remain nameless* has sent me a text message. "Mmmmm...dinner at the Alley's was GOOD."

"F. U." I type back.

10:15pm
Jiro is pounding Miles on the head. I take him out of circulation and into my room. He refuses to be held down and marches back into his room. I get some melatonin and follow him back in. I whisper some threats and then lay down with him. There's lots of giggles and commotion coming from the pallet.

10:30pm
I turn off the TV.

10:45pm
Jiro, as well as most of the other kids, are asleep.

10:55pm
There are two trouble makers that must be separated. Once that happens, there is silence. Glorious silence.


11:00pm
I put myself to bed in anticipation of an early wake up call. ("Early" being 7:30-8:00am)

Saturday, April 21

6:00am
I hear feet running down the hall towards the bathroom. The dogs bark and the cat meows. I pray that the feet run back to bed and go back to sleep. Warren thinks this would be a good time to do "it."

"Are you crazy?" I bark.

6:30am
"RRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAR!"

"hehehehehahahahahahahehehe"

"GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOWL!"

I jump out of bed and find Kai standing up roaring and growling to wake everyone up. Stella is next to him helping. Immediately they all start filing past me on their way to the livingroom.

"I wake up early," Kai grins at me.

"Me too," says Stella.

"Seriously, y'all, it's too early to be up!" I say.

"We want to go to the trails," Satchel says.

"Nooooo," I whimper. "How about a movie?"

I get them all set up, run back to bed, and hope that they will zone out for a good hour.

7:00am
Kai, Satchel, and Miles come filing in my room. "Stacey, we want to get dressed!" I trudge out of bed and head towards the stack of backpacks. (JP is already fully dressed. Go JP!) Once again, I try and get everyone's belongings in the right backpack and produce new outfits for everyone.

7:15am
Everyone has gone outside so I head to the shower. I pass Warren and say, "Seriously, you better get out of bed."

7:30am
I get out of the shower and find everyone finger painting! (Go Warren!)


8:00am
Everyone is outside again, except Stella who is still painting.

8:30am
Everyone comes in for cereal.

8:45am
Everyone is outside again, including Stella.

9:00am
Warren makes scrambled eggs, hashbrowns, and sausages. Jiro is the only one who eats.

9:15am
I notice a yard sale a few doors down. There's a big plastic slide in the front yard, so I head over. One of the mom's from school is hosting the sale and she helps me carry the ($5!) slide to the backyard where the kids waste no time breaking it in.

Everyone is very excited to see Emma's mom but cannot understand why she did not bring Emma. (The yardsale was at Emma's grandmother's house and Emma was home with her dad.)

10:30am
Stella's dad comes to get her for her gymnastics class. I hate to see her go as she has been an absolute dream. "Did you like being the only girl at the party?" I ask.

She smiles sweetly and says, "No."

11:00am
I make five PB&J sandwiches, one plain peanut butter sandwich (for JP), fill six snack bags with Cheez-Its, put six juice boxes and six puddings on ice, and mentally prepare myself for our journey to Overton Park.

Warren walks the big kids over and I driove Jiro, the dogs, the snacks, and everyone's backpacks. We go on a short, but fun, hike. Each boy was given a plastic bag and asked to pick up trash in honor of Earth Day. Surprisingly there wasn't much trash. (JP was the only one who found some and actually completed the task.)


Next we head to the red playground for a picnic. Two minutes into it the Ice Cream Man drives by.

"Ice Cream! Ice Cream! I want Ice Cream!"

Thankfully we have no cash and can not be convinced to buy everyone ice cream.

Noon
Parents start making their way to the park for pick up. By now everyone is completely bonkers. Wrestling, rock throwing, hitting with sticks--you name it, it's happening. (Miles' dad was nice enough to pull out his video camera and film Jiro taking on both Satchel and Kai.)

1:00pm
Team Oster, with its honorary member, Kai, head back to the house for Kikaida, seaweed snacks, and naps. (Warren and I are the only ones who actually nap.)

1:30pm
I make burritos out of the uneaten breakfast. I ask Kai three times if he wants one. "No," he says.

1:45pm
As Satchel scarfs down his third burrito Kai asks, "Why can't I have one?"

2:00pm
Warren decides to give Satchel his Spider-man web shooter.

2:15pm
Most of the silly string "web" is all over my car. The web shooter is then converted to a water gun.


2:30pm
Kai's mom comes to pick him up and Jiro soaks her with water.

The End!