Wednesday, December 05, 2007


I don't have anything profound or witty to report so I will just catch everyone up on a few things that are going on Chez Greenberg.

1. Fertile Ground Issue #16 is almost done. Just waiting on the cover to be inked. Also waffling about whether to try and make it a PDF so Kinko's can possibly do a better quality print job. I know turning things into PDFs is easy, but I still fear the CHANGE.

2. Did I ever mention that I'm now doing a monthly column for Health & Fitness? Well, I am. I'm also doing a few random articles for them as needed. I got a lot of nice compliments on my first piece, "Adventures with Nature Boy." The compliments went like this, "I saw your piece in Health & Fitness! I didn't actually read it but I saw it!" (I attribute these comments to the fact that there was a big honking picture of Team Oster to go along with the story.) I believe the December issue is running behind, so look for it next week.

3. As tempted as I am to do all of my holiday shopping from my desk via the Internet I am going to attempt to purchase all of my gifts from locally owned businesses. This may prove difficult since Satchel's very elaborate list for Santa was constructed from toy catalogs that have been bursting forth from our mailbox and the neverending toy commercials on TV.

4. I'm really looking forward to the monkeys' school program next week. I have heard nothing but good things about past shows from other parents and it seems like it is going to be quite elaborate...and long! It's at the College of Art and Tsunami is catering it! In addition to that Satchel has a gymnastics program the following week. I remember huffing in there on crutches while being in excruciating pain last year, so this year is bound to be a million times better. Sadly, Jiro doesn't have a Taekwando program. I am dying to see him in action! It is really ridiculous that I have never left work early and snuck into watch. Yesterday was his last class for the semester and he came home with a form letter from his instructors and a board that he had broken in half with his own foot!

5. My regular dentist is in Cordova near Shelby Farms and scheduling an appointment with him requires taking a half day off of work. After suffering with a toothache for 3 weeks I decided to make an appointment at the new dentist on Main Street, Dr. Rump. Turns out she is the sister of an old soccer teammate of mine. Her office is super swank with fancy computers, massaging chairs, etc. She fixed me right up. I'm thinking I'm going to have to take the monkeys to see her in the near future. This is something I've been dreading. My first trip to the dentist at age 6 was not good. I had multiple cavities and soon became a regular in the office. When my baby molars fell out, they had fillings in them. It wasn't because I never brushed, but because my teeth were "prone to cavities." I've had about 15+ fillings in my life and my twin sister has had 0. How is that fair? Anyway, Warren spotted a black spot in one of Jiro's teeth and I am terrified that he is going to follow in my path.

6. Last night at practice, we scrimmaged the AODs. We only had 6 people at practice so I was forced to play a lot. Thankfully most of the heavy hitters were absent but I did get to receive my first ever can opener from Brooken Bones! Cat Claus and Memphomaniac tried to sandwich me and when I stepped out of it they both fell down! And best of all, I actually touched Lil Cinner a few times! (Okay most of my blocks involved forearms to the back or an elbow in the side, but I gotta start somewhere, right?)

7. Speaking of roller derby, I have ten very glossy and seductive roller derby calendars to sell if you would like to purchase one for yourself or as a gift. The calendars were designed by Archer Malmo and they are HOTT. (No, I am not in it, but twelve much hotter girls than myself are!) They are $20 and all the $$ goes to MRD. This Saturday at 9pm at the Hi-Tone the aforementioned hotties will be putting on a Burlesque Show. I went last year and it was extremely entertaining.

8. I really need some people to dine with their monkeys and write about it! Even if you go somewhere that has already been reviewed, it is nice to have updated reviews. Some of the ones posted are over two years old! At the very least send me some ideas of places to take my monkeys!

9. Sometime between midnight Saturday and Sunday noonish, someone stole four large bags of leaves from our sidewalk. Considering we have SO many leaves, my first thought was that some mean bastard had cut open the bags and redistributed them in the yard, but Warren assured me this wasn't the case and I found no trace of empty, mangled bags. I suppose someone could have wanted them to start a compost pile or something, but it seems like a long shot--especially in my neighborhood. Just can't wrap my head around it!

10. I have on my calendar that tonight is dodge ball "open practice" at the Skinner Center. I really like the idea of being on a dodge ball team and have talked to various people about starting one, but nothing has panned out. There's another open practice on the 19th and then I think teams need to be registered by the end of the month--maybe January. If anyone wants to do this, now is the time to tell me!

Now I'm wondering if I should have just gone ahead done individual posts. I may have blown my wad for sometime to come!


Secret Agent Mom said...

I was actually thinking about your missing garbage bags and began to wonder if someone even do-goodier than yourselves is going around picking up bagged leaves to prevent big plastic wads filled with biodegradable material from going into landfills or something. But since you're not technically in midtown, that seems unlikely. Someone's probably just smoking them.

naomi said...

1. Do not fear the PDF. The PDF only wants to be your friend and make your world a prettier shinier place. Embrace the PDF!

2. I once took a biology class along with Jodi Rump the future dentist and thought very highly of her. I knew nothing at all about her abilities or inner life or anything else, but I figured... a girl who looks like a Florida beach bunny who can maintain her outward composure as teachers call out that hilarious name day after day? She has my respect.

3. Monkey dining! A combination of finances and laziness and love of cooking dictate that I never eat out with my bouncing toddler, but that certainly won't stop me from suggesting places for YOU to try... Molly's La Casita? Neely's Interstate BBQ? India Palace on a Sunday evening? The sushi gas station on Poplar just east of the Crescent Center? Duck watching and key lime pie in the Peabody lobby? How will you choose?

4. This time of year, my husband and I will often pick up bagged leaves to dump (unbagged) into the healing gullies at our farm. We prefer oak leaves because they usually have a bunch of acorns mixed in, so we get oodles of bonus trees for no extra effort. When I was a kid my dad always picked up bagged leaves and grass clippings for the compost pile that fed our enormous veggie garden in south Memphis. Technically it is some form of "stealing" but really, if the leaves were worth anything to you, wouldn't you just compost and/or smoke them yourself?

Melissa said...

Sorry I'm just now getting around to telling you this but goodonya for getting back into the ring and kicking some ass.

After a successful dry-run at Cafe Ole with the bebe I think we're ready to join the restaurant world again. We'd be happy to write up some reviews.

And I too went to school with the Rumps. Hee. Now I have to figure out a way to break my childhood dentist's heart and go to the fancy shiny lady. You had me at massage chair.

Lone Star Ma said...

Howdy! Loved your piece in Mamaphiles3!

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