Updatey-like

I don't have anything profound or witty to report so I will just catch everyone up on a few things that are going on Chez Greenberg.

1. Fertile Ground Issue #16 is almost done. Just waiting on the cover to be inked. Also waffling about whether to try and make it a PDF so Kinko's can possibly do a better quality print job. I know turning things into PDFs is easy, but I still fear the CHANGE.

2. Did I ever mention that I'm now doing a monthly column for Health & Fitness? Well, I am. I'm also doing a few random articles for them as needed. I got a lot of nice compliments on my first piece, "Adventures with Nature Boy." The compliments went like this, "I saw your piece in Health & Fitness! I didn't actually read it but I saw it!" (I attribute these comments to the fact that there was a big honking picture of Team Oster to go along with the story.) I believe the December issue is running behind, so look for it next week.

3. As tempted as I am to do all of my holiday shopping from my desk via the Internet I am going to attempt to purchase all of my gifts from locally owned businesses. This may prove difficult since Satchel's very elaborate list for Santa was constructed from toy catalogs that have been bursting forth from our mailbox and the neverending toy commercials on TV.

4. I'm really looking forward to the monkeys' school program next week. I have heard nothing but good things about past shows from other parents and it seems like it is going to be quite elaborate...and long! It's at the College of Art and Tsunami is catering it! In addition to that Satchel has a gymnastics program the following week. I remember huffing in there on crutches while being in excruciating pain last year, so this year is bound to be a million times better. Sadly, Jiro doesn't have a Taekwando program. I am dying to see him in action! It is really ridiculous that I have never left work early and snuck into watch. Yesterday was his last class for the semester and he came home with a form letter from his instructors and a board that he had broken in half with his own foot!

5. My regular dentist is in Cordova near Shelby Farms and scheduling an appointment with him requires taking a half day off of work. After suffering with a toothache for 3 weeks I decided to make an appointment at the new dentist on Main Street, Dr. Rump. Turns out she is the sister of an old soccer teammate of mine. Her office is super swank with fancy computers, massaging chairs, etc. She fixed me right up. I'm thinking I'm going to have to take the monkeys to see her in the near future. This is something I've been dreading. My first trip to the dentist at age 6 was not good. I had multiple cavities and soon became a regular in the office. When my baby molars fell out, they had fillings in them. It wasn't because I never brushed, but because my teeth were "prone to cavities." I've had about 15+ fillings in my life and my twin sister has had 0. How is that fair? Anyway, Warren spotted a black spot in one of Jiro's teeth and I am terrified that he is going to follow in my path.

6. Last night at practice, we scrimmaged the AODs. We only had 6 people at practice so I was forced to play a lot. Thankfully most of the heavy hitters were absent but I did get to receive my first ever can opener from Brooken Bones! Cat Claus and Memphomaniac tried to sandwich me and when I stepped out of it they both fell down! And best of all, I actually touched Lil Cinner a few times! (Okay most of my blocks involved forearms to the back or an elbow in the side, but I gotta start somewhere, right?)

7. Speaking of roller derby, I have ten very glossy and seductive roller derby calendars to sell if you would like to purchase one for yourself or as a gift. The calendars were designed by Archer Malmo and they are HOTT. (No, I am not in it, but twelve much hotter girls than myself are!) They are $20 and all the $$ goes to MRD. This Saturday at 9pm at the Hi-Tone the aforementioned hotties will be putting on a Burlesque Show. I went last year and it was extremely entertaining.

8. I really need some people to dine with their monkeys and write about it! Even if you go somewhere that has already been reviewed, it is nice to have updated reviews. Some of the ones posted are over two years old! At the very least send me some ideas of places to take my monkeys!

9. Sometime between midnight Saturday and Sunday noonish, someone stole four large bags of leaves from our sidewalk. Considering we have SO many leaves, my first thought was that some mean bastard had cut open the bags and redistributed them in the yard, but Warren assured me this wasn't the case and I found no trace of empty, mangled bags. I suppose someone could have wanted them to start a compost pile or something, but it seems like a long shot--especially in my neighborhood. Just can't wrap my head around it!

10. I have on my calendar that tonight is dodge ball "open practice" at the Skinner Center. I really like the idea of being on a dodge ball team and have talked to various people about starting one, but nothing has panned out. There's another open practice on the 19th and then I think teams need to be registered by the end of the month--maybe January. If anyone wants to do this, now is the time to tell me!

Now I'm wondering if I should have just gone ahead done individual posts. I may have blown my wad for sometime to come!