Fakey McFakerson

This morning when I dropped the boys off, I ran into Kathy. She said her son was the only one in the infant/toddler class today because of a nasty stomach bug that was going around. As we parted, she laughed and said, "I'm sure I'll be back to pick him up in a few hours!" Of course, implying that it was only a matter of time before Charlie started puking. I laughed along and said to Satchel and Jiro, "Stay away from Charlie today!"

I had only been at work for about 30 minutes when Satchel's teacher called to tell me that he was complaining of a stomach ache and said he felt like he might puke. Naturally, his teacher was alarmed as she had seen the baby class drop like flies.

Me, however, not so much.

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"Well he looks kind of clammy," she said.

"He was fine 30 minutes ago," I said.

"It can come on pretty quick," she said.

I found myself at a crossroads. Should I call his bluff or just be a dutiful parent and go pick him up?

Now, had the school not closed early yesterday and were Warren not leaving town tomorrow and if I could actually pick him up without using any precious vacation time, I might have taken the high road.

I told his teacher about my conversation with Kathy and asked if we could just wait it out a bit. She agreed, as long as he stayed quarantined in the office.

I called back an hour later and talked to the art teacher who informed me that Satchel was still sitting in the office, but hadn't puked. She asked if he wanted to talk to me and he said no. (Thus allowing me to totally dodge a bullet. I doubt I could have held my ground had I talked to him on the phone. My kids seem to small and helpless on the phone. Like I can't tell how YOUNG they are until I have to talk to them with no visual reference.)

An hour later Mr. Aaron told me that Satchel was in the lunchroom.

An hour after that the art teacher told me that Satchel was back in his classroom.

Warren picked the boys up and by the time I got home, the phantom illness was forgotten. At around 8:30pm, Satchel finally said, "Did my teacher call you today?"

"Yes," I said. "Were you feeling sick?"

"Yes," he said. "But I'm fine now."

"Oh, good," I said.

And that was that.