Live Roller Derby Action

On Sunday morning, Warren and I packed the monkeys into the car and hit the road again. We were taking a quick trip to Huntsville, Alabama (just three and a half short hours away) to see the Dixie Derby Girls play the Atlanta Rollergirls. We were all really looking forward to seeing some live derby action.

Once in town we did a preliminary “drive-by” to scope out the rink. Even though the bout was several hours away, there were several derby girls (you can always spot a derby girl by her striped socks) milling about the parking lot. Satchel hollered from the backseat, “Look! Derby girls!” and our excitement continued to escalate.

To kill time before the bout we visited a fancy playground and then had a bite to eat at a Mexican restaurant. Of course by the time we were finishing up our food, we were about to be late. I rushed everyone out of the restaurant and we made it to the rink just minutes before the bout was scheduled to begin.

By then the parking lot was full, as were the two adjacent lots. Punk rocker types were milling about and there was a decent sized group of smokers holding vigil outside the door. We bought our tickets ($10 for adults, $0 for the kids) and headed inside. We were immediately handed programs (very zine-like and cool). My gut instinct was to hide mine in my bag so that it would be safe from the monkey’s filthy paws.

The rink was pretty packed, but there was still plenty of room to walk around. The house lights were low and the strobe lights were flashing. The regulation track was outlined with plastic coated blue LCD lights. In the middle was a two-sided homemade penalty box and several (8?) referees. A five foot barrier was taped off (on the floor) all around the track (for safety) and then chairs were set up in rows behind the tape. There was also quite a bit of floor seating. On the middle of the back wall was a media area with photographers, the announcer, and a screen where a guy was projecting a score board.

I noticed the other Memphis derby girls sitting on the floor by the Dixie Derby Girls dugout, so we headed over and joined them. As soon as we sat down, Warren heard the announcer say, “Floor seating is only for people 19 and over. People who sit on the floor do so at their own risk.” Warren gave me the we better move face, but the bout was starting and I didn’t want to miss a thing. We scooted back a bit and shielded the boys with our bodies. (I was on high alert, ready to protect them if anyone came crashing down on us.)

To get the match started, the announcer introduced the members of each team. One by one they did a “victory lap” around the rink. Each girl had her own schtick (i.e. C.U. Afterclass chased two little boys around with a paddle, Blonde Assassin had a machine gun, etc.) which was fun to watch. These teams were the all-star traveling teams, so the uniforms were pretty subdued. The Dixie Derby Girls were in black skirts and black tank tops for the most part and the Atlanta girls wore red bottoms and red and grey striped shirts.

Before I knew it, the bout had started and the derby girls were speeding around the track. I immediately nudged one of my league mates and said, “I thought you said they went slow!” These girls were anything but slow—especially the Atlanta Rollergirls. After a few seconds of play, people started falling down. Hard. And then they just got back up like it was nothing. Over and over and over again. I started to sweat a little.

I looked over at the monkeys and they were awestruck. It really was amazing to see it all happening right in front of us. I thought it was every bit as professional and tough as the bouts I saw on the A&E “Rollergirls” show. (Jiro was really cute, snuggled up in my lap, and applauding at all of the right times.)

Okay so back to how fast it was…I really had a hard time keeping up, even though I have a fairly good understanding of the game. (Adding to the mayhem was loud music, drag queen cheerleaders, an enthusiastic dude with a big flag, the announcer, and the chanting crowd.) Once I moved to where I could see the scoreboard and I realized there was a referee whose sole purpose is to skate around while pointing at the lead jammer, it was a little easier to keep track.

The Dixie Derby Girls were tough, but not tough enough. (There was one skater who was rather petite, but solid as a rock. The Atlanta girls kept trying to knock her down, but when they slammed into her they just bounced right off like in a cartoon.) The Atlanta Rollergirls all looked like former speed skaters. They were fast and in shape. (They skated just as hard at minute 59 as they did at minute 1.) They also seemed to have a lot of strategery going on. (When they had to start a jam without their jammer, the blockers skated as fast as they could in a pack so that the Huntsville jammer couldn’t pass them and score points.) Atlanta also made good use of the jammer’s ability to call off the jam. Huntsville seemed to waste a lot of energy (and points) by trying to lap the pack multiple times in one jam. (Did I mention how fast Atlanta was?)

The final score was a bit of an embarrassment: Atlanta 123, Huntsville 63. Or something like that. Despite the ass whooping, it was still very exciting to watch. As the game was ending, I started thinking to myself, “Hey there wasn’t even one pile up.” Two seconds later (as the clock ran out) one of the Atlanta girls went down and the Hunstville team started a dogpile. Soon everyone was on top of each other duking it out. “Dang!” I thought as I looked around to see if the monkeys (now busy with the “gun” video game) were aware of what was going on. When I looked back at the rink I noticed everyone was kind of laughing as they threw fake punches. That’s when it dawned on me that this must be the traditional way to end a bout. I have to say it was the perfect ending to a perfect night of entertainment. (Once the rollergirls exited the track, the monkeys made a beeline for the penalty box.)


I can’t wait to go back.

Actually, I can’t wait to be the one on the rink.

Next inter-league bout in Huntsville is September 10. First Memphis bout is sometime in November.