What Can I Say about Oklahoma City?

We need to go back. A lot.

We made it to my aunt’s house (farm? ranch? country hideaway?) under the cover of darkness and didn’t realize just how amazing it was until the sun came up. The boys woke up bright and early and immediately wanted a full tour of Aunt Junnie and Uncle Doodie’s 192 acres (they melded Aunt Judie and Uncle Dunnie’s names together).

We started our tour in the kitchen where the boys ate two bites of cereal while staring dreamily at the pool. After promises of “swimming soon,” we walked up to the barn to meet Judie’s latest crush, Indy. Indy is tall, dark, and handsome. He’s 18 (I think) and “in college” as my aunt says. No, he’s not a sexy farmhand (although I think there were several riding around on tractors), he’s a dancing horse. And he’s gorgeous. Of course Satchel just assumed Judie was getting Indy ready to ride him around, but Indy is a purebred show horse. Sorry Satch, no pony rides.

The boys, Warren, and I set ourselves up in the viewing room (which is decorated like an English pub) and watched Aunt Judie and Indy do their thing through a one way mirror. “He’s dancing!” Satchel exclaimed as he sat staring out the glass. Jiro, while captivated by the horse, couldn’t help checking out the TV, stereo, microwave, fridge, and other electrical gadgets in the pub.

Tom, the extremely fascinating caretaker, came in to visit. The boys demanded snacks, so I left Tom and Warren discussing literature, abstract art, and caves, and headed back to the main house. When I returned, Tom said he would get us a golf cart to do some exploring and pointed us towards the fish pond.

Satchel and Jiro were both 100% sure that they could drive the cart, but we did our best to convince them otherwise. We made a small loop of the area, greeted the three other horses in their individual pastures of Bermuda grass, fed the fish in the large pond, and made note of the large playground in the backyard of my cousin David’s house. (He lives on the opposite side of the property with his family.) We circled back to the stables to check in with Aunt Judie, who was done with her lesson and happily washing Indy. “Give me about 15 minutes,” she said, “and I’ll give you the full tour.

We walked down to where Tom was finishing up the new greenhouse and walked through the garden. Next we visited the chickens, the koi pond, and two of the five dogs. (The kids’ favorite dog by far was Tres, a tiny three-legged dog that my cousin rescued.) We were finishing up with all of the “Nemos” when Judie arrived in her golf cart, ready to give us the full tour. We piled in and Jiro tried to take push the gas button when Judie wasn’t looking. Thankfully I was one step ahead of him and had turned the key to “off” while Judie chatted with Tom.

Judie drove us all around and told us about all of the work they had done, changes they had made, and riveting details of a tornado that swept through three years ago. That’s right, a tornado, Satchel’s storm of choice. Here he was face to face with someone who had actually experienced one and lived to tell about it! It was his opportunity to have his one million questions answered! Where would he start? What would he ask first? Would he ever stop once he got started?

The fact that I can’t remember exactly what he asked, or Judie begging him to stop, leads me to believe that he let her off the hook entirely too easy. I think Jiro’s standard “I want to go to the playground,” mantra distracted him. We stopped by the playground for a half hour or so and watched in amazement as Jiro scaled the climbing wall as if he’d been doing it his whole life.

Once the playground was thoroughly explored, we returned to the main house. I got the boys in their swimsuits while Warren and Judie made sandwiches. The boys had about two bites each before declaring themselves stuffed and ready to swim. We stayed in the pool for a good couple of hours. Eventually, Jiro and Satchel—decked out in their floatie vests—happily played in the shallow end while Warren and I chatted with Judie in the shade.

We had to call it quits around 4:00. It was clear that the boys were exhausted, but I couldn’t imagine getting them to actually nap in this oasis. We decided to take a drive and check out the city while they (hopefully) slept in the backseat. Our plan worked, and they were both asleep within minutes. Warren and I got to see the Federal building memorial, several cool neighborhoods, and the edges of popular attractions like the water park, botanic gardens, and zoo.

We returned to the house with two well rested monkeys. My uncle went wild at the grocery store and bought treats for everyone—steaks for the grownups and sweets for the little people. After a delicious meal (in which even the monkeys partook) we had more lively conversation, more swimming, and more running through the house in search of breakable objects. Then my cousin David rode his golf cart down to say hello.

Cousin David is expecting his fourth baby. This was the first time I had seen him since we were both parents. He kept me entertained with strategies he plans to implement to keep guys away from his teenage daughter. Oh and thanks to Jiro, we talked a lot about sushi.

(Picture me standing proud with my offspring) “This is Satchel and this is Jiro.”

(Picture my beefcake cousin in his boxer shorts and inside out t-shirt in a golf cart.) “Jee-what?”

“Jiro. (Jee-row.)”

“Ebi?”

“Jiro.”

“Toro?”

“Jiro.”

“Unagi?”

“His name doesn’t have anything to do with sushi,” I said.

He laughed and we had a fascinating conversation about sushi. (To call my cousin a “big eater” would be an understatement. My older sister remembers him and his two brothers coming in from playing basketball as teenagers and cooking a 20 pound turkey as a snack.) Turns out Dave doesn’t eat in Japanese restaurants anymore. He has large quantities of fish delivered directly to his house. He mixes various dipping sauces and then slices the fish himself. I can only imagine how “generous” his sashimi servings are! (Reason #101 and to visit Oklahoma City more often.)

After chasing the half-naked monkeys through the house for a good half hour, Warren was eventually able to bathe them. Exhausted, the four of us curled up in our king size bed and watched satellite TV (where you can find Barney anytime of day) and enjoyed living the high life for a just a tiny bit longer before dozing off.